Sunday, August 29, 2010

Xanax and Espresso

Warning....this is going to be long...

Now that I am home, I am ready to talk about it.  When Joel and I were planning our trip to Seattle for Joe and Jane's wedding there was no question in my mind that we were going to take Gus with us.  I made the flight and hotel arrangements with him as part of it.  I even searched out tourist spots around Seattle for little ones.  So when we decided that Gus would be staying home, it took me some time to come to terms with it.  It wasn't until today that I realized that it was a good idea to let him stay home with Gramma and Papa. 

Once we decided that he was staying home, I refused to actually say it out loud since it made it more real.  For a week prior to leaving, I was a mess.  Could barely sleep.  I would spontaneously burst into tears thinking about the trip.  I was convinced that my plane was going to crash and that my little boy would be left parentless.  I have not gone even 24 hours without seeing him up until this point.  Needless to say, I was a mess.  So bad, that I ended up calling my doctor and pleading for Xanax or some sort of drug that would calm me down enough to walk onto the plane.  I have never felt like a drug addict before, but as I begged my doctor, I suddenly found myself in a position I had never been was quite strange to be pleading with someone for drugs. I am not a huge fan of medicating myself so that I am not in full control, but it seemed like it would be for the best.  Luckily, my doctor is an angel she gave me enough to give me that extra little comfort to relax on the plane.  (Keep in mind- this control freak already has a hard time flying because she is not in add the typical flier anxiety to the momma anxiety and we have one major disaster.) 

I won't go into the mess that I was when my parents came to pick up Gus before we left.  I will just leave you with this picture in your head....hyperventilating, sobbing uncontrollably, snot everywhere.  I was a mess!

In addition to Dr. Smith, God sent another angel.  Joel Maly's brother-in-law, Matt, ran into us in the airport.  Turns out, he was on our flight.  (His wife and daughter flew out earlier in the day.)  And knowing full well that we would be with Matt all weekend, I knew I couldn't be an irrational wreck and make a fool of myself.  So I had to try to pull it together.  (Thanks, Matt, for understanding how crazy I am and still asking the man in our row of the airplane to trade seats with you so that you could sit with us!!)

We made it safely to Seattle.  (And I only cried twice after leaving for the airport!)  We waited for a long time for our luggage and for Enterprise to pick us up.  After waiting about 45 minutes for the Enterprise shuttle (a few drove right by us!)  Keep in mind I am already irrational...add annoyance and you will see what the poor girl at the Enterprise office saw when we got there.  On the upside...we got a vehicle upgrade and free gas!!

We toured around Seattle, saw the Space Needle, Pike's Place and lots more.  And by "lots more" I mean  A LOT of espresso shops.  Of course Starbucks is everywhere since Seattle is their hometown, but these Seattlites (is that even a word?) are VERY serious about their coffee.  There are these tiny little drive through coffee shops on almost every corner of the city.  Espresso everywhere...and yes, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

We spent time at Joe and Jane's house with the other out of town guests before making the trip 2 1/2 hours outside of Seattle to the wedding site.

Did I mention how much I love this man and just being able to hold his hand through our life together?  He puts up with my crazy and loves me anyway. 

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