Friday, July 23, 2010

Plethora of Paranoia

Sometimes I even amaze myself.  I really think that I should have a blog about my many paranoid parental moments...I have many.  The first would have been 5 minutes after Gus was born.  I watched as the doctor handed this goopey mess over to the nurse who brought him out to me and put him in the warmer.  I watched cautiously.  Gus' birthmom could still change her mind.  What if she saw him un-goopey and decided that he was too beautiful to live with us and that she wanted to keep him.  I watched through tears as the nurse lovingly cleaned Gus up and took his stats.  She turned to ask me if we had a name picked out and she stopped mid-sentence to ask if I was okay.  I guess the look of sheer confusion was written across my forehead.  (It is pretty obvious to others when my wheels are turning...I show it all over my face.)  "I'm fine...but is he supposed to be that color??"  "Yup, don't worry, he is just getting his blood flowing.  He is fine."  And then I could answer the question, that I had been waiting to answer..."Augustus".

Two weeks later we were at the pediatricians office for Gus' check up.  The doctor asked if I had any questions.  She had no clue what was coming her way.

"Should I buy him a horse?  It looks like he is bow-legged.  I'm okay with that.  He would be a good cowboy.  But do his legs look funny to you?"

After she stopped laughing at me she responded, " try being curled up in a uterus for 9 months and then see how your legs look....he is fine."

At our last appointment, I had more silly questions for the doctor and she chuckled at me.  And she explained to me that as a parent, she is very similiar to me.  And then has to switch to doctor mode.  So she understands my kind of crazy.  I then asked if I could take her home with me.  She politely declined but said that she was only going to work parttime this fall, so maybe she could babysit Gus for us.  What?!?  How cool would that be?  But I know that she wasn't serious.  But seriously, could you get a better babysitter than a pediatrician?  I bet she charges a lot.  (Sorry...rambled there for a moment.)

Well, I would say that today takes the cake.  I called this morning to try to get an appointment for Gus today for...bug bites.  I know!  Crazy!  Really....bug bites?  The bug bites were extremely large.  One behind his ear looked about the size of a half dollar when I looked at it this morning.  We were lucky enough to get an appointment.  And my paranoia paid off...left with instructions for 3 medications for Gus.  Apparently he is really sensitive to bug bites. 

I told the doctor that I felt like a nerd coming if for bug bites.  She joked with me and told me that if I wasn't careful, I was going to be added to the "crazy parent" list.  I told her it would be appropriate! She said that I was a normal crazy parent who was crazy about her kid and I am doing exactly what I should be doing...and I am quite entertaining.  I told her that she could write a book based on myself and my friend, Amy.  (Her kids go to the same office and Amy ALWAYS has good questions.)

So I decided that I don't care if I am a crazy, paranoid parent.  I am CRAZY about this silly little "bug bite" of mine!  Bring on the crazy!!!

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