"Have you heard from the mom?"
"Do you have contact with his mom?"
"Why did his mom give him up?"
What don't people understand? I am Gus' mom! Just because I did not carry him in my belly or gave birth to him...I am his mom just the same. Even his birth certificate says so! I had my own pregnancy. It started in November of 2007 when we started the process, "our pregnancy". Gus was born in June of 2009. So instead of a 9 month pregnancy...we had a 19 month pregnancy. Our labor and delivery lasted 8 months while we waited for finalization. Just because I did not become a mom in the traditional way, does not make me any less of Gus' mom.
I try so hard just to calmly answer people when they ask and when I answer I make sure to use the term birthmom. I know that people aren't very familiar with adoption and the pc terminology. I try to be patient....but I am quickly losing my patience. Perhaps some day, I will not be as sensitive about it...but that day is not today.
Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it
--- Fleur Conkling Heylinger